Being Tolerant when You aren't Affirming 
 
You have educated yourself and understand the pro-LGBT stance. You don't agree with some or all of it but you want to behave in a caring and sensitive manner.  Kudos for desiring to act tolerantly while acknowledging your limits.  Tolerance means you act civilly and accept another's right to be who they are, not that you like another's behavior.  Here are some suggestions on how to do it. 

If you want to act tolerantly, DO the following:

• Use individual's preferred terms, names, and pronouns
• Take each person at face value without connection to sexuality or gender identity
• Familiarize yourself with the vocabulary and avoid slang or loaded terms National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s Stylebook Supplement to LGBT Terminology
• Respect people's privacy.  Many LGBT people are not "out" in all situations so please don't tell others without their permission
• Admit to discomfort on LGBT subjects in a calm, disinterested manner: "I feel uncomfortable discussing this subject.  Could we talk about this later?"
• Talk to LGBT people about commonalities, such as hobbies or work
• Be aware of heterosexual privilege and its affects. For example, how do same sex parents feel when a school only acknowledges/communicates with one of the parents?
• Teach your students and own children (or future children, nieces, and nephews) to treat everyone with respect regardless of differences and disagreements
• Learn more about aspects of LGBT life that you do respect
• Remember some people will view your rejecting their sexuality or gender identity as rejecting them personally and will respond to you emotionally
• Assume that LGBT people are in all settings and help create safe environments for them
• Talk to a counselor if your feelings interfere with your relationship with an individual

 
If you don’t want to offend, AVOID the following:

• Personal hypocrisy.  For example: if you have or had premarital sex, don’t publically condemn homosexuality for Biblical reasons
• Referring to sexual orientation or gender identity as a "choice."  People choose their behavior, not their attractions or gender.
• Specific terms with loaded meanings
  • “sexual preference” implies sexuality is a choice
  • “homosexual” is an outdated, clinical term
  • "gay lifestyle" like with heterosexuals, there are multiple LGBT "subcultures" so this is a misnomer
  • "it" or "she-male" for transgendered individuals
  • Epithets (these appear particularly bad when said by a person who is known to be uncomfortable with LGBT issues
• Introducing Biblical discussions. In general, teachers should avoid religious discussions that are not connected to their curriculum. Follow the LGBTIQ person’s lead showing their willingness to discuss theology or ask politely if the person is willing and interested in such a conversation
• Assuming everyone is heterosexual and non-transgender, including people who are married or have children
• Laughing along with anti-gay, homophobic, transphobic, or heterosexist remarks, jokes or comments. As a teacher, it is your job to speak up against it immediately. If you are not assertive or confrontational by nature, practice phrases to use in order to become comfortable speaking up.
• Talking about issues that will likely get you heated or emotionally upset
• Well-meaning statements that are actually demeaning such as “I still think you are a good person” or (to a transman) "you look like a 'real' man."
• Excluding LGBT persons or their partners from group activities. For elementary school teachers, remind parents at the beginning of the school year that being excluded from birthday parties can be hurtful and to encourage their children not to discuss their parties in school
• Showing non-verbal signs of discomfort
• Allowing sexuality or gender identity color your impression of a person

Questions and Statements to Avoid
General Rule: do not ask invasive personal questions that you would not ask a heterosexual or a cisgender person.
 
To a Transgender person: 

• Are you “really” a man or a woman?
• Have you had the surgery? or Are you going "all the way?”
• Are you gay or straight?
• Can I see pictures?
• What is your "real" name?

 
To a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or pansexual person :

• Which one of you is the "man/woman" during sex?
• Have you tried sex with the opposite sex?
• Are you attracted to so-and-so?
• Why did you choose to be gay?
• You don’t look gay.
• Why do you have to flaunt being gay?